Whoa, Nelly

How different are you today from the person you were last year? What about five years ago?

Fifteen?

Change is not only inevitable, it’s supposed to be desired, right? We hope we’ll grow and change and learn.

I’m in a position where I need to let go of an identity and responsibilities I’ve grown accustomed to and rather enjoyed, and I admit I’m having some difficulty with it. It’s been a part of my identity for a number of years, but someone else has stepped in and I need to gracefully release the reins (rather than ungracefully hanging onto them as I get dragged behind the carriage, face full of mud and spluttering “but…but…”).

Or… perhaps I need to accept that it’s a shared venture now. That some aspects remain with me, while others less so. And in the future that too may change yet again. I have a tendency, one I wasn’t aware I have, to sometimes see things as more all-or-nothing than they need to be.

I’ll get there. The last several years have been about learning who I want to be, and taking the steps to be that person. So it will happen. But as I feel the control and decisions sliding from my grasp, it doesn’t mean there won’t be a pang or two. A recognition that sometimes you’re simply no longer the person for the job. Hopefully it means something else is around the corner; I always like a new adventure.

And letting go can definitely be a big adventure. New paths often lead to new places.